this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
