so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize