Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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