You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
