so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
organizing the empties. That sober.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
