You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
