this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Randomize
