I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
