it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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