if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize