Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
