wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
