So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
