I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
its not stalking. its research.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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