He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
