Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
