Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
