Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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