i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
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These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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