What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
