Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
