quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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