If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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