There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
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And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
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I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE