At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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