i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
