dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
