I cockslap morals
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
