Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
