And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
