OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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