i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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