i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
