bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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