i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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