Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
