you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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