You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
