Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed