i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
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Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
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And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high