I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
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can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
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She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.