I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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