I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
