Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
