The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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