She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
