let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
