That's intense
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
