You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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