I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize