Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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