Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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