If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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