This is not my ceiling
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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