dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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