i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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