I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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