Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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