Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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