People with herpes should wear stickers.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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