we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
