are you still at the devil's house?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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