she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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