You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
